The path of grief

Grief is "the feeling of reaching out for someone who has always been there, only to find that when we need them one more time, they are no longer there."

(John W. James)

Simply defined, grief is the normal and natural reaction to significant emotional loss of any kind. While we never compare losses, any list would include death and divorce as obvious painful losses. Our list also includes many others: retirement, moving, pet loss, financial, and health issues.

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The range of emotions associated with grief is as varied as there are people and personalities. There is no list of feelings that would adequately describe one person's emotions, much less those of an entire society.

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Grief is individual and unique. Just as every relationship is unique, so are the feelings and thoughts each person will have about a relationship that has been altered by death, divorce, or any other loss. 

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While grief is normal and natural, most of the information passed on within our society about dealing with grief is not normal, natural, or helpful. Grief is the emotional response to loss. Unfortunately, most of the information we have learned about dealing with grief is intellectual. Grievers do not have broken heads; they have broken hearts!

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Have you discovered that most of the information you have been given about dealing with loss isn't working?  For example:  time heals all wounds, grieve alone, be strong, don't feel bad, replace the loss, keep busy.  None of these ideas help us to discover and complete the unfinished business in a relationship.

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Time does not heal all wounds; rather it is what you do with your time that will help you complete the pain of your loss.

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